Feeling a little crummy

I've been feeling weird all week! Not really sick enough to call myself sick... you know, just kinda head-achy, stomach-achy and all around tired! In fact, I was feeling so odd and "not myeslf" that I actually went out and bought a pregnancy test today! (...which, thankfully, came back negative... we'd like more kids, just not quite this soon!) I think being this way is almost worse than really being sick... it's such a funny no man's land.

On one hand, I feel sick enough to take a nap with Abi during the day. On the other hand, I feel well enough that after lying there for 30 minutes, I feel guilty about not getting things done. On the other hand (yes, in this scenario, I'm a three handed person), when I get up to work on something, I'm just brain dead enough that I can't get anything done! It is a bit frustrating to say the least!

Anyway, I just thought I'd vent a little and if anyone has a sure fire way to beat the "crummies," I'm all ears!

Tags:

• personal
• health

Mister, You Made My Day

"Wawawow-wee! Che bella!" My American girlfriend and I were walking through the market in Mae Sai yesterday when an older farang gentleman walking towards us on the crowded path began passionately exclaiming to us in a language we didn't understand (that is to say, it wasn't English, Thai or Akha). It wasn't until after we had passed him that I realized he was speaking Italian and I did, in fact, understand what he was saying! Excitedly, I said to my friend, "That guy thought we were pretty!"

Motherhood can sure do a number on your self image. It's not that I feel ugly, it's just that I don't really feel pretty! Most of the time I couldn't tell you the last time I had proper shower. My clothes almost always have some baby related stain and now that Abi has entered an extremely "grabby" stage, it seems that every time I see myself in the mirror, my hair is no longer in a tidy and smooth pony tail, but a frazzled mess! I'm really not complaining, I'm just stating the facts: A mom's life is not glamorous!

So, Thanks Mister Italian-guy for thinking I'm pretty; it made my day!

Tags:

• just~for~fun
• personal

Geek Envy

I just ran across this page at Hotelchatter.com listing the Top Five Geek Hotels in the World. While I can totally respect the LOTR and StarWars hotel inclusions, I have to say that the Hotel @ MIT has to take the cake. Yes, I assert that it is even geekier than the number one ranked istudio at the Tribecca Grand, because, as we all know, the kings of all geeks are the engineers. I mean, the MIT blankets have equations on them and there are chemistry cartoons in the bathrooms; seriously, that is hard-core geeky.

Let me clarify, lest you misunderstand me. In the past, the term "geeky" may have been understood as an insult, but in recent years, geeks of the world have become decidedly cool. I became acquainted with the utter coolness of geeks during my college years when I spent most of my free-time with engineers from the Colorado School of Mines Campus Crusade for Christ group. It was then that I began my personal journey towards geekiness and developed the geek-envy that still plagues me to this day.

Back in those Crusade days, my geeky friend, Andy Engdahl, used to wear a t-shirt that had a message on the front written in binary code. My gullible and curious nature always got the best of me, forcing me to ask him what it said, only to be reminded that it said "You are stupid." A classic geek joke! I mention it because that shirt, like the Hotel @ MIT, remind me that there are some things in this world that I will never fully appreciate because I am just not geeky enough (read smart enough!) However, I take solace in the fact that at least I can recognize something that should be appreciated (even if I myself can not!)

Finally, on a completely different note, a blog entitled "Geek Envy" simply cannot conclude without mentioning my good friend Molly Stanberry.

In the past year, Molly's geek levels have far surpassed mine, making her my newest object of envy! Not only is she a female gamer (a title earning much reverence in the geek community), but she has a super-cool vidcast and is quickly becoming a sought after expert in the WoW community. Molly, I watch your vidcasts and am in awe of your nifty WoW lingo and video editing skills, but I fear that you have joined the ranks of things which I cannot fully appreciate because I'm just not geeky enough!

Tags:

• tech
• science
• personal

Sola Scriptura

Why is it so easy to forget the importance of scripture in my life? Someone once told me that our appetite for the Word of God functions differently from our appetite for food; if we stop eating food our natural hunger grows stronger with each passing day, but if we abstain from partaking of the Word our hunger lessens until we forget that it's even there. The opposite is also true, however; when we feast on God's word, we begin to hunger and thirst for more and more of Him.

Yesterday, I ran across this conversation and got a taste of scripture so potent and flavorful that it left me yearning for more.

it's far too easy to feel alone



mord says:
We humans are alone really, just stuck inside our brains.

Christina Lutze (photographer) says:
Psalm 139
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me...Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me."

We are not alone even when we think we are. :)

mord says:
I yell with agony as I see the sun rise,
A new dawn begins, as painful mind sighs,
Another day to face, of meaningless time,
Is there no peak to this mountain I climb?
The hills of dispair, the skyline of pain,
I keep a steady pace, but no hope to maintain,
This walk that I'm taking seems to be lost,
I hoped to find answers, but my path has been crossed,
Met by the demon we all know as fate,
He blocks the one route to finding the gate,
The door I want opened to discover a life,
An answer to freedom, without living the strife,
No beginnings to suffer, of things I want dead,
Never, once more will it have to be said,
That life is a struggle, with my syndrome alone,
That alive is unwanted, and death be the home.

Christina Lutze (photographer) says:
Lamentations 3
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quielty for the salvation of the Lord. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust- there may yet be hope. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most high that both calamities and good things come? Why should any living man complain when punished for his sins? Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord...I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You came near when I called you, and you said, 'Do not fear.' O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life."

Hope lies with Jesus. :)

mord says:
Excellent response but Jesus was invented to make Christianity more acceptable, copied from Mithra, therefore hope lies with a fictional character ? ;-)

Christina Lutze (photographer) says:
Hope could never lie with a fictional character, and you are right...if Jesus is not real than hoping in Him is really no hope at all. "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men" (1 Corinthians 15:19). But I believe that Jesus is who He claimed to be. Each person has to decide for themselves who they think Jesus is...pretend, a practical teacher, a wise prophet, a liar, a crazy person, God, Saviour...whatever you decide is your choice. I won't pretend I can prove to you with facts and historical evidence whether Jesus was or wasn't copied from Mithra. I can only speak for myself and say that I am confident in my faith in Jesus, and that my hope in Him is something I am sure of.

mord says:
Again excellent views, a solid belief in your faith is something to be admired, commended and encouraged.

I have to admit I feel envy ( a sin in itself ) in your faith in Christ, something I've never had, and feel I never will have.

Nice to have some intelligent disussion on Flickr, have great life. See ya, Mord ( always alone )

Christina Lutze (photographer) says:
thank you for your honesty. i've enjoyed discussing with you also. i want to say that my faith is not something i can pat myself on the back for. credit must be given to God because even faith is from God. He will give us faith if we ask Him for it. also, i don't think doubt is always negative because doubt leaves you searching for answers, and when you find them you are better off than before. if you have a desire to know Jesus then don't give up. Can i encourage you to..."Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon" (Isaiah 55:6-7). "If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever" (1 Chronicles 28:9). That verse comes across very harsh, but i think it conveys the impact of your choice on who Jesus is. I sincerely wish you the best.

I'm ashamed to say that if I were placed in Christina's shoes I doubt I would have turned so readily to scripture as she did. I probably would have relied on human wisdom and philosophy in my attempt to communicate these heavenly truths ... and I would have failed miserably!

Today, I've been reminded of the all-encompassing power, adaptability and beauty of scripture, and I'm humbled to think that I needed reminding at all! Thanks, Christina, for the wake up call!

Tags:

• devotional
• personal

A Souvenir of Extravagance...

An amazing thing happened to me while we were in Bangkok last week. It all started on the final night of the conference at the banquet dubbed "Cultural Night". Everyone wore the traditional dress of their country; and with over 600 people representing countries from all over Asia it was certainly an amazing sight. We saw Japanese Kimonos, Korean Hanboks and jewel-toned saris, to name a few. Adding to the festive atmosphere of the evening, many of the delegates were generously passing out small trinkets and souvenirs to anyone and everyone, proudly representing their countries!

Towards the end of the evening, we met a couple from Sri Lanka named Dinesh and Dinu who struck up a conversation with us asking about the Akha clothes we were wearing. Dinu was wearing a beautiful bright pink sari and I told her that I had been admiring it all evening (which I had.) We probably talked for less than 5 minutes before the evening ended and we all headed up to bed.

The next morning, Paul and I were sitting waiting for the session to begin when Dinu came and sat down next to me. She said, "I have a gift I want to give you, but it's up in my room. At break I'll go up and get it for you." After the session, she found me and asked if I could go to the room with her so that we wouldn't lose each other in the crowd.

When we got to there, Dinu pulled out the beautiful sari she had been wearing the previous night. This was the gift she wanted to give me! I was awe struck! With tears streaming down my face I told her how I had said to Paul, "If you ever want to buy me a new dress, I want one just like hers!" When I had composed myself, she explained that after the banquet she felt the Lord prompting her to give this sari to me. She didn't know my name or our room number, so she said, "Ok Lord, if I see her again tomorrow, I'll give it to her."

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the flowers of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the unbelievers run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

-From Jesus' Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 6:28-33

In the past, whenever I heard those verses I always tended to focus on one word: need. I've heard enough sermons on this passage in my life to remember the lesson that God provides for all our needs, but I've always been left with the vague impression that His provision applies only once we've hit a certain level of destitution. Even then, that provision is only what we "need" and nothing more. But as I read this passage today, all I can think about is God's amazing extravagance. By no meaning of the word did I "need" that sari, but the Lord poured out his extravagant love for me and fulfilled the desires of my heart. Today, I feel like a lily of the field adorned in God's finest!

Tags:

• devotional
• personal
• asia

Fried Rice :: Asia's Leftover Casserole

As a kid I remember eating fried rice from the Chinese restaurant in the food court at the local mall. I loved it, but it always baffled me. How they actually accomplished the "frying" of the rice, I could never figure out. Eventually, I concluded that it must be done in the same way that french fries are fried at McDonald's. But the thing that I never could understand was how they kept the rice in the fry baskets; wouldn't it just fall through the holes?! Even as an adult (having realized that "fried rice" does not actually mean "deep fried rice"), fried rice still held a certain sense of mystery for me. Somehow this simple dish had become an exotic secret of the far east that I would never understand! Let's face it, I'm a product of America and America just doesn't do rice!

Having lived in Asia for over a year, rice is becoming a little less mysterious. A couple weeks ago as I was scraping the cold-leftover-lunch-rice out of the rice cooker so I could make a new batch of rice for dinner, I thought to myself... "What am I going to do with this rice! There's not enough to eat for dinner, but there's too much to just give to the chickens." (Honestly people, I'm not making this up! How weird is my life!?!) Anyway, I had seen street vendors make fried rice before so I thought 'What the heck, it's worth a try!' Well, it was a success and has since become my one of my favorite dishes. The best part is that it's not just good for leftover rice, but leftover anything; I can throw almost anything in and it tastes great! It's one of those meals that works no matter what I happen to have on hand.

So with out further ado... Here's my Super-Easy Recipe for Fried Rice (for those of you out there who still think it's an exotic secret of the far east!)

Ingredients:

• 1-2 cloves of garlic, crushed and chopped
  
• Palm oil
  
• 1 egg
• A little bit of meat, sliced thinly (optional)
• Salt (Soy Sauce or Fish Sauce also works)
• 2 tsp. pork or chicken bullion (cubes or powder)
  
• 1/2 medium tomato, diced
• 1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
• chopped green onion
• chopped cilantro
• Lime wedge for garnish
  
• about two cups of left over rice
  

Directions:

1. Make sure all your ingredients are out, chopped and ready.& Once you start cooking it goes quick.
   
2. Start with about a 1/4 cup of oil in your wok. Turn on your flame, and while you let your wok heat up a little, spoon the oil up the sides of wok.
   
3. Throw in your garlic and stir for just about 10-15 seconds
4. Crack your egg directly into the wok and stir to scramble.
5. Stir bullion powder into the mixture (and salt if you're using salt)
   
6. Throw in meat (if you're using meat), stir until cooked
   
7. Stir in the onion and tomato. Don't let them cook too long or they'll get mushy.
   
8. Throw in the rice, green onion and cilantro, stir until heated through. If it gets dry and starts sticking to the wok too much, add a little more oil.
   
9. Garnish with some leftover cilantro and a lime wedge
   

So that's how it's done, folks. I know there are a few things I use that aren't commonly found in a standard American kitchen (like wok, palm oil, lime wedges, etc.) so experiment and see what works for you! Enjoy!

Tags:

• food
• asia
• personal
• popular

Sunday School Teacher Dismissed

A few weeks ago, upon receiving the letter from the Church council citing 1 Timothy 2:12, an 81 year old woman named Mary Lambert was dismissed from her role as Adult Sunday School teacher in a small Baptist church in Watertown, NY

Since then, there has been a media frenzy, with news sources as far away as China, & Quatar covering the story. As expected, the blogosphere has responded in force. A simple search from Blogger.com's front page yields hundreds of results, most of them condemning the Christian church for being backward and sexist, decrying the injustice and inequality of this situation. Christian blogs, not wanting to be left out, have joined the discussion as well and lively conversations about 1 Timothy 2:12 and the role of women in ministry have ensued.

While I'm usually all in favor of a good discussion on the roles of women in ministry (having been a female bible student the subject is not unfamiliar to me), it seems to me that there are many other issues surrounding this situation, which are not being addressed by anyone!

According to statements released by the church board and the pastor, it seems that Ms. Lambert's dismissal didn't really hinge on the "women shall not have authority" argument. In fact, the church openly states that currently 55% of the board members and 87% of Sunday School teachers are women. It turns out that the 1 Timothy 2:12 argument cited in the dismissal letter was simply the scapegoat reason that they used on advice the of legal counsel who were doing everything in their power to avoid a messy lawsuit.

If I've just lost you with the whole lawsuit thing, let me backtrack a bit to explain. The pastor explains in his statement that this story actually began months ago, when a small group of parishioners, "unhappy with new members [and] changes that were being made" in the church, "decided to forgo the mechanisms that [are] in place for dealing with conflicts or disagreements within the church and elected to hire a local attorney and aired their grievances in a letter to the Watertown Daily Times." After an official "reprimand" from the church board and an encouragement to settle church matters within the church, "several of those individuals continued to engage in activities the Board viewed as detrimental to the church family."

I would say the real issue at hand is this: The state of the Christian church, in which parishioners bring legal action against their church, change and growth in the church is so violently rejected, and it's considered normal for a long-time member of the church to go to the local newspaper to air his/her complaints instead of working things out with the church directly. Let's talk about Matthew 18 and the way we can work out differences in love, instead of displaying our dirty laundry for the world to see. Maybe it's not nearly as controversial or exciting as 1 Timothy 2:12, but it's obviously needed.

The press wants to make this whole thing about "women's roles in the church" where the church becomes the big bad "chauvinist" wolf. Like I said before, I'm all for discussing "women's roles in the church"; it's an important and intersting topic! But as a Christian community let's call apples "apples" and discuss all the issues surrounding this situation, instead of simply reacting to the "spin" of the press!

So, those are my thoughts. Hopefully they'll stir things up in the blogosphere! Any comments?

Tags:

• church